Self-Care for Dark Times

As someone who has been in the wellness and support industry for well over a decade, I have become an expert on self-care. The last handful of years have been especially challenging and it has become ever more important to take care of myself so that I can help you through tough times. I consider part of my job as caring for myself so that I can do my job to the best of my abilities, especially when called upon in times of great need of collective support. It’s once again a time when you may be needing some extra support and many around you need it too so this is my offering as a reminder to take care extra good care of yourself.

For me, self-care usually means setting aside time to be with myself or connecting with people who I love. Sometimes it means cooking myself a wholesome meal and others it looks like me and a bag of chips on the couch with mindless television. Getting in the ocean, going for a hike, finding a creative outlet, getting bodywork, reflecting, finding perspective, all of these things are what help me, but find what works for you.

Right now, a lot of us are in need of support. Many of you may be scared, angry, frustrated, confused, sad or even numb and it’s important to know that you’re not alone. However you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel that. What matters is what you do with that feeling. It’s okay to feel all of these things, for however long you need to feel them. What is not okay is letting hate to reside in your heart and acting out of that. If anything comes from this time, don’t let it be to sever us from our neighbors even more. 

How did we get to this great divide, the extreme polarization? Of course fear has fueled this since the dawn of time most likely, however, within our lifetime we’ve undergone technological “advancements” that are outpacing our capacity to comprehend. If you are old enough to recall having three or four channels on TV, you will probably remember the birth of cable TV. Prior to this time we had our morning and evening news times to catch up on what was going on. We also had local newspapers in hand, written by humans, with a sense of soul (of which about 70% are now defunct). Cable TV gave rise to 24 hour news stations, delivering not only news, but as a result of having to fill so much time, opinions. In more recent times, the rise of social media, podcasts, and other free-range opinion-centered media came on like wind to a wildfire. Let this sink is as we talk about self-care.

Be conscious of what you’re exposing yourself to right now. It’s okay to turn off the news or just not put it on in the first place. Better yet, get off of social media for a while or at the very least, turn off notifications. Use discretion. Less exposure is okay right now and probably always. If you’re looking for a way to get information via a different type of platform, Ground News informs you of how an article is biased and also shows you blind spots. My recommendation for right now, however, is to just take a break from all of it unless you have a solid emotional capacity to avoid being triggered. That serves no one and we need everyone.

Fear leads to hate and that’s what “they” want, so don’t let them win. It is our individual responsibility to take this opportunity to use our anger and fear to fuel our desire to make the world a better place, wherever and however you can. Get involved with a cause you believe in, spread love, find joy in the everyday, remember what truly matters in your life. Channel those big emotions into art or take them outside and touch grass as the youth say. Nature is a good reminder of what really matters.

Today, you are alive – let hope not be lost in the darkness of what may or may not come, but allow it to permeate the darkness to shine bright enough diminish it. We must not be reactionary; we must be grounded. It starts with you so use this as motivation to better yourself. If we all use the dark as an opportunity for good, we will do better and be better. It’s easy to lose hope but trust me, there is more movement behind the big emotions than simply hope alone, just be sure to fuel the right things with it. I challenge you to take care of yourself and your community by acting out of love, not hate.

In this moment, find your support system and lean into that. If you don’t have one, I am here for you. Do whatever it is you need for you first so you can go on shining your brightest for when it’s needed by those you can give it to. Just know that you’re not alone.

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